Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Diary of a Cub Contestant at IBR part 7

Joe takes in his fans
Friends Cody and Jack
Hottie from Spain -Javier
As I walked up to the Contestant holding room, I saw a familiar face conversing with everyone. He was familiar, despite the fact that I had never seen the face in the flesh. It was last year’s International Bear winner Mr. Joe Mannetti. Joe, in my opinion, is really what having a title all is about. He is one of the kindest, most inspirational giving men I have ever met. He has managed to be a part of just about every big Bear charity event there is, while being a major hottie to boot. We met online through Face book and we got to know each other a little better when The Complete Bear was doing it’s “Bear of the Year” Competition. He manages to be upbeat without being obsequious and he truly cares y’all! About everything and everyone! While my opinion has changed considerably about a Bear Beauty pageant, I can’t help but think if we get a Joe Mannetti out if it than it seems like a good idea. However, if it becomes about how we look instead of whom we are than that doesn’t seem like a good idea to me. Regardless- Joe is the whole package Beauty, Heart and Dedication. He has advised me on a number of things on how to best represent the community while being true to myself. When we saw each other it was like seeing a guy who you had an awesome one-night-stand-with –minus the unrequited love stuff that so often happens because we all equate awesome sex with love. He was a lot shorter than I thought because he has a HUGE…personality. When we greeted each other he gave me one of the best hugs I have ever had. If you get a chance then go ahead and take a look at the long list of things he’s done in the past year. This Bear is the Energizer Bunny! He made each contestant feel special and exuded such a fun, playful, positive energy that you couldn’t help smiling after 5 minutes of his company. I was very glad to see him there. He picked up my sagging spirits enough to play Bay Area Cub 2010 for the final round of raffle ticket sales.

There was a formal introduction of each contestant at The Hanky Dance that involved walking across this fairly sizable dance floor and waving to the crowd, while Dominick read something we had written. The “speech” we gave Dominick to read was about our goals and accomplishments within the Bear Community. This was the most pageant-y part of the whole competition to me, because it involved waving and smiling a bit longer than I could tolerate waving and smiling. It felt like I was on the cast of the Beverly Hillbillies during the end credits. My smile felt –and I am sure looked-insincere. I tried to replace the Beverly Hillbillies image with the Robert Altman movie “Smile” instead, as Dominick read to the audience. Wave and smile –walk walk Wave and Smile- walk walk . Of course the breathtaking Javier did it with the greatest of ease and exuded joy through the whole walk of fame. My “wave and walk “was one of the most surreal moments of the whole experience.

Then we did another quick but exhausting raffle race. Thankfully it was the last one. All my economic fluid connections were tapped out. Many attendees had purchased from us earlier that afternoon and there were roughly two attendees per contestant to sell to. I tried the Hello-My-Name-P.A.-schtick but the music was too loud to hold an intimate casual conversation. I couldn’t find a judge to save my life. My dedicated, handsome “Bag Bitch” Orlando held steady at my side but we were weary of the whole raffle thing –despite the nap. We paused to look out at the sea of twinks out on the dance floor clapping and twirling. They were good but where the hell did they come from? This was an unusual sight at a Bear Run. There was one sassy little spitfire who was totally getting all the attention with "her" fast paced spins. I could spot a couple of otters but by god it was Country-twink-city on the dance floor. Orlando pointed at the sassy one I saw earlier. He had overheard “her” say, “I could give a shit about this bear stuff –I came to two step!” If I had heard that then "little missy" would’ve quickly learned what my logo “woof with bite” meant. That would've been bad because I might've drawn blood and that -my friends is not very contestant-like behavior.

I was extremely tired by 9:45. Ridiculous I know, but I had only four hours of sleep under my belt so...go figure. A nice man came smiling and rushing up to me. In my blear I think it may have been IBR Contestant Judge Tony Hart. To be honest-I am not sure... but I remember thinking, "oh good! I sold some tickets to a judge!" He said, " I wanted to be sure that I bought tickets from every contestant." How nice! Orlando and I passed other contestants on the way to Paul Almy before calling it a night. My head was spinning with fatigue. Many of the contestants seemed to have a similar amount of raffle tickets left on their roll. That is - almost every contestant but the beautiful one  from Spain: Javier. He had a ring of tickets that was no bigger than a bracelet. I looked at Orlando with a dead pan that rivaled Jack Benny's. Orlando asked me, " C'mon. Are you surprised? Really?" I guessed that I really wasn't. I would be a fool to think that being hot didn't help in this sort of game. Lucky Javier.
The inimitable (sp?) Joe Mannetti
Before we called it a night, my ever-competitive Orlando Bear took one for the team. An elderly man who was sporting a Muu-muu of sorts and had enjoyed one too-many gin gimlets, became entranced with Orlando's nipples and simply had to have a taste. He said he would buy an inseam's worth if he could suck his left nipple. Clearly this wasn't my decision so I looked at my Lando Bear with a questioning expression. He took a deep breath, shut his eyes and went to the "far away place" in his brain while I knelt down and tried to find an inseam in a Muu- Muu. Try measuring THAT without touching something you'd rather not. We both paid for that one. After we had turned in the earnings to Paul, I disinfected Orlando's nipple and washed the hell outta my hands. Selling raffle tickets this way clearly had it's downside and quite frankly-I had determined that I would NEVER do it again. I needed my beauty sleep, so we headed home for a late night snack, while I studied my bear history. I didn't want to make a mistake with the judges. As it turned out, all of my studying wasn't going to count for anything. Two of the judges hated me before I even opened my mouth...but we will save that for the next blog.

No comments:

Post a Comment