Two Families equals extra drama (continued)

As Orlando and I settled on the couch the week before Christmas, Spike and Cordelia were still out of their minds with the kitty-tastic stimulation of Christmas.  I was relieved that their destructive attentions were turned to wrapping paper and bows and the Christmas tree, instead of the couch and our curtains. I had just mixed a drink and handed it to Orlando. We had finished wrapping a pile of gifts and the room was a wrapping paper debacle with our kittens  romping about in absolute glee. I handed him some chips and a fresh batch of guacamole. " Nice job honey.", and the phone rang. He didn't even get to sip his drink. His Mother was on the other line and he put her on speaker phone. " Hi Mami" She was extremely distressed. She was gasping and choking back sobs and not making much sense and immediately we both sprang into alarm mode. She spoke mostly in Spanish so I wasn't getting what was going on. (Yet another reminder to take a Spanish class.)

The gist was that Lando's Mom felt attacked verbally by her little sister in such a cruel way it upset her deeply. The content was unclear but it was an old family wound that upset her so much she wanted Orlando to come up and get her right away. - AND here is where I went in my head for just a second- " Oh my Mother wouldn't do that to me." The drawback to that is that my Mother might endure a very difficult situation and then remind me over and over and over that she handled it herself and I never had to worry about a thing. You see in my family we handle our drama with hurtful silences and in his family...nobody really keeps their feelings to themselves. We will get to my family later...

I looked at the clock. It was 8pm! If he left to pick up his Mother he wouldn't be back until at least 1AM in the morning !- that is if he drove non stop! This was unacceptable to me. I saw in his face that he was resolved to rescue his very distressed Mother. I gestured at him that she try to stick it out until the weekend and we will get her then-OR maybe Dan or Margaret could drive her to the Amtrak station the next morning? "Doesn't she realize you have to work in the morning??"The whole time I looked like I was doing a very badly played game of charades while he was trying to soothe his Mother.  He was doggedly determined and assured her he would be there to pick her up. I knew I couldn't take the phone out of his hand and speak to her myself. My relationship with her wasn't that strong yet. As I listened to her I  thought it was interesting that she did the same gasping hiccuping sob that my own Mother does when she cries. It tugged at me.

The another realization slammed into me  ....omg LOOK AT THE HOUSE! IT'S NOT SUITABLE FOR MY POTENTIAL NEW MOTHER-IN-LAW. Orlando was putting on his pants and I was scooping up the wrapping paper. This was happening. Orlando's Mother was coming to stay with us. I kissed him  as he went out the door and ran around like a chicken with it's head cut off. Then ...I stopped...

Wait a minute. Maybe I could prevent this? Now hold on a minute P.A. This never went well for Lucy when she stuck her nose in Ricky's Night Club business. Yet I realized I had a decent relationship with Margaret. After all,  Margaret had confessed to me first about her new love while on Facebook one afternoon. Margaret and I were also fellow foodies. Unlike her family, Margaret ate a lot of fresh vegetables. This was one of our bonds. Orlando had deciphered through his Mother's sobs that she was alone in the house. Margaret had driven a rageful Irene off somewhere. This meant I could talk to Margaret and reason with Irene and maybe get the sisters to come to some sort of Peace treaty at least until Orlando and I can come up and get his Mother on the weekend. Then I can call Orlando and head him off at the pass and have him turn around and come home.

So I called Margaret. She was sitting in a car outside of a Casino trying to calm and sort things with her Mother. This out-of-control-squabble happened because Irene wanted to gamble and Lando's Mom thought she shouldn't. Margaret tried to explain to me what went down but - she didn't have a chance. Irene took the phone from her. She pressed the phone so tightly to her mouth, I had trouble understanding her words. Irene was sorry - very sorry our evening was disrupted and that Lando had to come up and fetch his Mother but not sorry enough to stop it apparently. She told me of her sister's jealousy of her life and it how critical she was and how she couldn't take it anymore and etc etc etc. I rapidly deduced there was no room for reasoning here. This was some sibling rivalry that I could not unravel. I had trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that Irene was portraying Lando's Mom as provocative given that the lady that I had met wasn't prone to making waves. Irene may have seemed loving and accepting but she was also dramatic. I resigned myself to the fact that I would see Orlando's Mother on our couch the following morning and said a sad good bye to Margaret and Irene and hung up.

Irene was not done. I guess she was still very angry at her sister and was determined to "stir the turd" (thank you Mrs. Sedaris*). She called me back because she was concerned for me. Silly me. I was actually bewildered. I asked why. She explained. Orlando's mother never trusted me. She never understood why her son hasn't asked me to marry him yet. (At the time that was true.) Irene went on to say if Lando's Mother says anything hurtful or cruel to me - which she probably will because she really doesn't like me, be sure not to react to it.  She smashed the phone tighter to her mouth and whispered "Instead, when it's late at night, just mention it to Orlando when you guys are in bed together so she can't hear. In fact , you can tell him all this stuff I just told you now."

I paused for a long time and took it all in. This was in direct opposition to everything I knew to be true. Orlando's Mother had surprised everyone by reacting very positively to meeting me. She hugged me for crying out loud. She even told her own daughter how great I was. As I was hearing what Irene was saying, I was amazed, that I was able to decipher what she was up to. Normally I would've taken the bait and engaged in a tangle of wills with Orlando's Mother and well...it wouldn't have been pretty and Irene's little plan would have worked beautifully and her big sister would be sent back to Puerto Rico in tears or ...or ...My boyfriend would break up with me because I was mean to his Mother. I felt a brief surge of anger as I realized this. ...and I was hurt. I THOUGHT Irene liked me. Was she so pissed at her big sister she was going to throw me under the bus and break her nephew's heart too? whoa.... These Puerto Rican sisters fight dirty.  I collected myself.

I spoke with a light tone" Okay Irene. Thanks for the warning. I'll take that under consideration. We will see you at Christmas. Take care now. Bye bye" I was still mind blown but I was working hard to brush it all off. Orlando and his Mother came through the door around 1:15. She looked completely embarrassed that any of this had to occur. I welcomed her and asked if she wanted some tea. She politely declined and she went to bed. I did wind up telling Lando quietly in bed -so his mother didn't hear. It wasn't the way Irene probably expected me to do it. He asked if I was ok. I said I was surprised that she would go that far. Orlando shrugged and explained that they fight like that sometimes and rolled over and went to sleep. Eventually,  after a slightly uncomfortable visit with a couple a fun moments, she caught a flight back to Puerto Rico. She didn't spend Christmas with us. Margaret texted us at the LAST possible minute to say that the family wasn't coming for Christmas either. It wound up just being my brother and his fiance and our friends. I guess it was just as well because Orlando and I would not have survived that crowd 15 in our one bedroom apartment. Dinner should have been easy but I still ruined the roast.


*David Sedaris quoted his Mom in "The Christmas Whore"

Two Families equals extra fun and drama

Orlando's Titi from Oroville called him the other night. She has been wanting to buy us some new kitchen gadget to celebrate our engagement. We don't need another kitchen gadget ,although I lust after plenty of fun things as I peruse the aisles of Sur le Table. I pointed out to him we do need some sauce pans - 2 and 3 quart cooking pots. I have a decent one from my old  Revereware set but the two he uses are beginning to lose a non-stick coating and I don't want that to wind up in our food. I won't cook with them. Once he got over being offended about that ,he admitted to his Aunt that they were the greater need at present.

He was on the phone with her and they were looking on line at possible ideas for long lasting quality cooking pots. " Circulon!! " I called out as I got up and headed to the bedroom to put away some laundry and reflect a bit  on his Aunt. She was Orlando's favorite Aunt and consequently became one of my favorite people. In 1989, when Orlando traveled to the West Coast he chose to go further North instead to the Mecca of San Francisco like I did. It was this particular Aunt that took him in to her family. He had recently come out of the closet and it had done a real number on his Mother, but his Aunt welcomed him with loving arms. Aunt Irene, (as we will call her for the purpose of of this story), was very much a child of the 60s and despite a strong conservative Puerto Rican up bringing she was very open and loving. She fell in love with "Dan"who came from an wealthy, but emotionally unavailable family. Dan couldn't help but be drawn to Irene's boistrous, loving nature and together they raised three interesting, engaging, lovely women.  Orlando is close to his cousins.

The phone call currently taking place in the living room was the first we had heard from Irene since Christmas. Early in November of last year, Irene was having health complications and the youngest daughter was greatly unsatisfied with how her father and her middle sister were handling her Mother's care. Irene had back surgery and had contracted a MRSA infection. She also had diabetes which made all of this a deadly situation. "Sara" the youngest daughter did not think that her Dad could handle her Mother's care. According to Sara, he couldn't handle the sight of blood and would "take off" when it came to making hard core health decisions. In addition, there was "Margaret" Sara's enigmatic thirty-something, middle sister who lived at home with Dan and Irene, since dropping out of college. Margaret at the moment had A) fallen head over heels in love for the first time in her life and B) was on the brink of moving out on her own. Normally Margaret could be relied on to care for her Mother but years and years of being the family cook and maid had taken their toll and well...Margaret had had enough and was ready to take flight. It appeared that Margaret was finally finding herself. Its just that her timing sucked. Sara was beside herself. She lived in Oregon and was a research lab physician of sorts. She was taking a lot of time off to attend to this situation at home. She called Orlando at her wits end not knowing what to do which caused him to pay a visit to Oroville for  one Saturday. Oakland to Oroville is about three hours by car. Then we went up the next two weekends together. The final result was a discussion bringing Orlando's Mom from Puerto Rico, who was retired, to stay and help with Irene's care. Lando's Mother used to care quite a bit for her baby sister when she was very young so..it would be like old times. It seemed like a natural solution!

That went well for about a week . Christmas was rapidly approaching. Sara taught Orlando's Mom everything to do for her mother so she could head back to Oregon knowing she would be in good hands. Orlando and I went up for one more visit so he could see his Mom. The household seemed a little tense to me and Dan's reticence for caring for his wife was non-existent as far as I could see. He even gave her an insulin injection in front of me. Orlando's Mom seemed bored and uncomfortable but Orlando told me that is just the expression on her face naturally. We headed back to Oakland and I was gearing up for a HUGE Christmas dinner involving all these people and my brother and his fiance and our friends, except his family would never come.

(To be Continued)

Spike and Cordelia

Steve McKenna and his wife Teri are about the folksiest laid back recovering flower children Orlando and I had ever met. Whatever they did to conform to the constraints of the twenty first century, it had netted them a nice house in the Toni Rockridge district of Oakland. It had a lovely porch that welcomed us in from the wet leaf-strewn streets.There was a sign saying to watch for the kittens when opening the door. Clearly we were at the right place.

The kids in action 

Steve seems like the local history professor with a very gentle demeanor. He wasn't a professor though, I think he had a tech job in Hayward. Teri comes off like a cross between a bawdy saloon owner and your standard Berkeley Earth mother.  They seemed like very happy people ,which I felt boded well for this potential adoption. The house had the same "come in relax and hang out"  feel as an apartment I had once lived in on Guerrero Street in San Francisco in the early 90s. ( That apartment was also run by an "earth  matriarch".) On the floor were two little kittens around a month and a half old -perhaps 2. One was a cream colored short hair with deep blue eyes. Teri explained to me that she had named him, Blue-temporarily of course -she interjected, until we came up with a name for him. The little Calico with the long hair was named Cordelia. Steven explained that Teri supplies the names usually. We made some small talk as the kittens darted all around us. We talked a lot about our mutual connection, my friend Helen, who had set this little meeting up. They brought out pictures showing them together back in the 60s. To me, Helen didn't look all that different then she did back then, but Teri and Steve had changed considerably. Teri's body had become more zaftig in her mother persona and Steve's full locks of hair were now a receding cap on his head.                                     

                                                            

Orlando set about trying to acquaint himself with Cordelia and Blue while I was chatting with Steve. He looked concerned as they raced up a curtain and then started to sharpen their claws on the living room couch. I glanced over and read his mind accessing the damage control we had ahead of us.To be blunt- Steve and Teri didn't exactly have a house of designer furniture. There was a very paisley fabric-draped Bohemian feel to the whole place. I picked up Cordelia. She was tiny and soft-as one likes in kittens. She had one eye outlined in with a small layer of black skin and the other was not.  It made one eye look larger than the other. It gave her a very Clockwork Orange vibe.  The smaller eye began to weep a little and you saw evidence of dried eye gunk near the corner.  Teri said she wiped it every so often, but the Vet said her eyes were otherwise fine. Cordelia wanted to pop down and play on the floor with her brother and really wasn't all that interested in getting to know me. Teri seemed puzzled and a little distressed as she explained that they normally are very affectionate and attentive to people. I took in to account that "people" meant them , as opposed to strangers with different smells and attitudes.                                     
              
We watched them play a bit more and chatted.  I had never seen two kittens that had come from the same litter but appeared to be different breeds. To add to the puzzle -these two also had a sister (recently adopted) who was a short hair butterscotch tabby.  The feral Mom must have had a very interesting night when she was in heat. She gave birth to a cat that looked  cream colored Siamese, (Blue's pretty blues were vaguely cross-eyed), a long haired calico tabby and the yellow short hair tabby.

Teri and Steve loved these kittens. They spent a lot of time with them. They said they had a daughter somewhere who cared for them as well. She may have been out just being a teenager that night. I suspect watching the babies she raised  get new parents would be too much of an ordeal.
 Orlando looked at me with that expectant look..almost challenging. His eyes said, " Do you like them?"  I looked down at them one more time and nodded that I did. "Blue" ran over to the open litter box in the next room and laid the most odoriferous bowel movement and both of our eyes began to water. Uh oh. How could such a tiny kitty make such a terrible smelling shit?

Steve and Teri were trying to close the deal before the over-scent sensitive Gay men changed their minds. Orlando thought it was funny, but the expression on my face trying to ignore the befouled air-as well as taking in the shock that he had done this in the neighboring room and not under us was all too readable. Orlando pointed out how good it was that they knew how to use the litter box. Teri and Steve enthusiastically and simultaneously said, " oh yes yes - both of them use their litter box without fail!"  Teri's gravel toned voice quickly threw in the cat tree which Cordelia had just raced up and was eyeing me speculatively from. I looked at Orlando and he asked, "Really? We can have the Cat tree?" We had been looking at them in Costco and the more interesting ones ran 70 to 80 dollars. It's beige carpet would blend in with my carefully thought out -and soon to be ruined- Bed Bath and Beyond/Target/JC Penny Decor. I looked over at little Cordelia and she arched her back to stretch and chirruped a "hello" at me. I said yes immediately.

                                                                                   
They had a few cats already that they were caring for.  Blue and Cordelia were going to be too much of a financial burden. They were true lovers of cats, but at the same time, I had this sense, that Teri and Steve did not want to turn into the local crazy neighborhood cat hoarders. Giving away these two kittens would assist them in that goal. They went all out for these animals. They even had the kittens spayed and neutered! Having a pet can be expensive and they apparently had put a lot of money into their local veterinarian with their current felines. Their generosity was beyond anything I had encountered. They lent us their cat carrier thankfully,  because we only had a cardboard box. Steve kind of urged us to hurry before he displayed some unseemly unmasculine emotional attachment. He had a beer on the table waiting for him to ease his pain a bit. He had papers to prove that they were fixed but he couldn't dig them up at the moment. We offered them some money, but they politely declined. It was more important to them knowing that the babies were going to a good home. We agreed to get their vet papers when we returned the cat carrier. Many fond farewells took place and I said I would give progress reports.

Before we knew it we were racing back on 580 to our apartment. The kittens were in the carrier on my lap huddled against each other for safety and breathing rapidly. I figured they were reverting to the "sit still and don't make a noise" until Mom killed or scared away the predator. They appeared frightened but weren't peeing or yowling uncontrollably. This was a good thing. I talked to them in this silly baby high pitched voice unbecoming for a 47 year old man. It seemed to relax them.

We followed a friend's advice and  set up camp for them in the bathroom until they had adjusted to the change in residence a little bit better. I saw a tiny black speck move around on Blue's cream colored fur and he reached around to scratch it. " Good thing we bought the flea shampoo. They are going to need it." I mulled it over and told Orlando that "Blue" was not an easy name for me to call out  and it didn't sit right in my head. Whereas Cordelia seemed appropriately named. I would call her Cordy for short. Her Clockwork Orange eye gave her a sense of mischief or wickedness. It was a nice companion to her brother's goofy blue crossed eye. I asked Orlando, " Didn't the character Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer have a mate named Cordelia? "
" Nope that was Drusilla. Cordelia was Angel's partner on the Angel series."
"Don't you think his fur is the same color as James Marsden's hair from that series? Not the natural color he wears on that British show but Buffy"
" Kinda- yeah - sure..."
"I am going to call him Spike."

 

Spike's name sake 

                                                           

                                                                      



Orlando looked surprised. " You're going to name a cat Spike? But he's not evil or wicked- like Spike. At least Cordelia does seem like a fearless spoiled sorority girl."
" I like the whole juxtaposition of his sweet goofy persona and having the name Spike, I think he's a lot like the Spike that had a crush on Buffy. Remember how goofy he got over her?" 

" Okay then, Spike and Cordelia it is."

                                                                 

Life with Kitties -the beginning

P.A. Cooley Cat Lover 

                                                          



I don't know what I am any longer except perhaps Orlando's boyfriend and an Admissions Director to a Skilled Nursing Facility. I feel less and less connected to people around me, (despite my horrific Facebook addiction). Ever since I have declared myself an ordinary bear and no longer the Diva Cub of all time, all of my life's issues have become so mundane. Perhaps this would explain my why I have so vigorously begun a new persona: Pet owner and proud father of two adopted feral kittens.

The cat idea was really not mine at first. Orlando and I knew we wanted pets eventually. (The idea of children stealing all my attention was more than I could handle and quite frankly Orlando is a strong believer in children should be seen and not heard. These are excellent reasons why neither of us would make very good parents. So pets it was) This led to the selection of our current apartment because they DO accept pets, but we had originally discussed getting a dog. As most would agree, cats are fairly self sufficient if they have enough food and a clean litter box. Dogs require far more attention. Hell -I kinda felt a dog was as big of a time investment as a kid would be. ..Sorta

The dog idea was shelved until after we had the ultimate grown-up-no-time-with-family-vacation that we have been planning in our heads forever. Currently I am agonizing about budgets and upcoming family weddings on the East Coast. I shamefully confess to you now that have never really been  ACROSS THE ATLANTIC -or Pacific for that matter. My mother the anglophile, didn't make it to England until she was in her SIXTIES!!! (She went with her former Sisters-n-law and they still joke about their driving misadventures almost 40 years later.) I don't want some pictures of me looking thoughtful and wondrous at the Leaning Tower of Pisa at 62. I want the Gay Italian men to whistle at me as I walk through the streets of Rome before I have completely lost my sex appeal.

So Orlando and I decided to adopt a cat. Then it got to the point that we realized we'd be gone 8 to 9 hours a day of the work week so we thought TWO cats to keep themselves company would be the  ideal situation. Then my -save-all-the-old-things-and-people-in-the-world got the better of me, and I said I wanted to adopt an older adult cat. I wanted to save a cat that someone could no longer care for. Orlando was adamant in his preference of a kitten because he wanted the kitten to get used to us as opposed to us getting used to an adult cat's ways. I began to fret about how it would be for a kitten and an older cat to be thrown in a new environment, forcing them to get along with each other. We went to the Oakland SPCA.

Our first trip was unsuccessful. We met these two sleek silver bullet brothers who were approximately 4 months old. Difficult to tell them apart visually but they each had two distinct personalities. One boy was eager to meet us and loved crawling all around us and even purred a bit. The other one didn't seem to like to be touched. I couldn't handle that. It had been 30 years since I had been a pet owner and I wasn't sure I could re-socialize the boy into being handled and eventually settling down to an adult lap kitty. Orlando kept looking at me expectantly. I narrowed my eyes in irritation. "Remember? I wanted an adult cat? They have less chance of being adopted?..." The two silver bullet brothers raced madly around us in the Oakland SPCA Cat Playroom. Orlando seemed conflicted too. He started thinking about the damage the two little fellas could wreak in our home but his eyes danced in delight as he watched them do these fantastically acrobatic twists to capture the little mouse at the end of the stick that he made dance tauntingly for them. They were fascinating to watch. It struck me odd how brave and affectionate one brother behaved and how tentative the other brother was. It had been so long since I had spent any close time with animals that I was beginning to make assumptions like they all behaved the same. For some mysterious reason I had blocked out  ALL my childhood cat personalities. I had forgotten about my old butterscotch tabby Mo's kingly prowling and personal allegiance to me. I had forgotten Sheba's ( Burmese Black tabby mix) elegant stand offish air and keen intelligence. How could I forget Butkis-Sheba's son - A gray tiger tabby? Named after the football player Dick Butkis. He LOVED to be vacuumed. Yup! He'd roll right over and my mother would just suck the fleas right off his belly with this Hoover that sounded like a train. There was NOTHING elegant about ButtKiss!

We left the Oakland SPCA without the boys. I could smell Orlando's desperation that kitten season was nearing it's end. I thought about the big comfortable lonely looking lap kitties I had seen sitting in the cages. Now I was getting cranky. Orlando was getting crankier. Another 2 weeks went by and we found ourselves back on a much better scheduled visit to the Oakland SPCA. After an industrious visit to Pet Club our apartment was outfitted with the necessary ingredients for two rambunctious baby kitties. Regrettably and begrudgingly, I decided to think economically about being a new pet owner, and felt that if I had adopted an older feline then I was looking at vet bills sooner rather than later. Orlando had finally persuaded me two kittens was a better route to go. Despite his obvious joy and glee at the thought of two little puffballs in the house, I still felt guilty. We both had negotiated  to get kittens as young as we could possibly get. Teeny puffballs that could barely walk were the preference.

The silver bullets were still there and a bit bigger , but I told Orlando we shouldn't take them out and play with them. As we wove through the facility it became glaringly apparent there were no baby kittens tonight. I could feel the growing tension of Orlando's frustration. A sweet black and white female tabby about 4 months old was meowing at me from her cage. I stuck my finger in to pet her and she rubbed her face against it eagerly. He could see I was enchanted. Orlando started to look angry." I thought we decided nothing older than a month!"

" I know I know." I back pedaled. " I was thinking she looked like the cat my friend Alilah described she used to have and maybe she would be a good fit for her" Orlando began to grumble. He wanted the kitties tonight. Roughly $170 worth of food and  litter and the toys and bedding and scratchers were all sitting in a pile in our living room and we weren't going to be bringing home any kitties. His frustration began to peak as he heard from the pudgy shiny, SPCA volunteer that kitten season was indeed over. He began his Fred Flintstone roaring as we approached the car. My mind was desperately thinking of something to say to make him calm down. I knew a good deal of this was directed at me because I was being so particular. At this stage of the game, he would've scooped up any 2 cats in that facility and brought them home with us. There was a brief discussion of bringing home the friendly silver bullet boy and sweet black and white tabby girl - but there was no way in hell that I could have lived with the thought of separating those brothers, especially since one of them seemed autistic!!! The happy socialized cat would need to be with his special needs brother so that the special needs brother could learn to interact with the outside world by imitating him. You can imagine the expression on Orlando's face as I explained this to him. He did the "angry face scrub". You know -the thing where you are so mad you just furiously rub the mad off your face to the best of your ability?? I think Schemp on the Three Stooges used to do it all the time.

We rode home in stony silence but Orlando kept barking out foods he'd like to eat to calm himself down. PIZZA! BURGERS! ICE CREAM!! I timidly suggested he pull over and I'd treat.


 


 

Mom's Birthday Dinner

So - Here it is January 2012 and I am still prattling on about my trip to New York and Vermont. I just wanted to finish up my scrapbook today and let you know that Mom's Birthday dinner was a huge success. There was a little bit of a panic as Orlando had to deal with a flat tire on our rental, in what felt like a very humid sticky Indian Summer. Aerial Restaurant was a hit with the family. Everyone was all smiles! She did indeed have a very Happy Birthday.

                                                   


Remember when she asked me to think of all the things she did well? I did. In my Birthday toast I mentioned them. Family members all nodded in agreement with me. All agreed she is indeed an accomplished cook -noted for her fantastic raspberry pies and lasagnas. Everyone also agreed she is a talented actress with excellent comic timing. (She retired from the amateur stage in her 60s). Most of all, she is a good mother. As her sons, we all felt loved and cherished and important growing up. I could have gone on and on about her being a brilliant Art teacher, a great story teller and a wonderful hostess but the Mother part seemed to be the natural conclusion.      

                                                       

                                                                                      

My father and my eldest brother had some terrible issues allowing me to grow up would not let Orlando and I pay for this dinner.  Orlando and I had budgeted for this trip. Albeit it was pricy-it was possible that the whole thing would be paid off with a couple of months. I was unsuccessful in fighting off my brother's fistful of cash he shoved at me , and poor Orlando was cornered by Dad. My father -not known for histrionics of ANY sort-gave an impassioned teary plea to accept a check- worthy of Sarah Bernhardt that left Orlando quaking in his shoes. I was angry for about 10 minutes but I thought about what Dan-my brother had said. " You did a good thing here tonight." He wanted to be a part of it. Dad - still wants to be my Dad. My brother still wants to be my big brother Okay Family - you can be  still be my family. I decided to accept my brother's judgement of the evening.                                              

                                                                                                                             



 

Evening Visit to Burlington Vermont Sept 2011

The night before Mom's big soiree dinner, I was fretting to Orlando about us not having a place to put our heads to rest before the early flight back on Sunday Morning. The flight back to the West Coast was leaving at 5:45AM . Leaving from the Inn didn't seem feasible since it was an hour and a half from the airport. I had twiddled my thumbs and not scheduled a motel in Burlington -the city of our departure-in a timely manner. So now we were looking at dozing in the Airport until it was time to go. I hate REDEYEs  and I hate having to give up my zzzzzs. Orlando casually suggested we could call Syndi and Bones. Syndi was an actress friend from College who had -in my 20+ year abscence, -become the Queen of local community theater scene. Her husband Bones is a local musician. It would've made sense to call her because she and Bones had a relatively new beautiful house and plenty of room. I just didn't want to be an imposition-yet again. Through the years Syndi & Bones have always been there for me as I traveled across the country to visit friends and family. They always had the house for me to crash in.

I didn't think I would have time to visit any of my Burlington friends due to all the family obligations I had arranged-so I didn't. I was too embarrassed to call Syndi now that I was in Vermont, but my fretting was all for naught. I called Syndi and she secretly helped arrange a surprise visit with Bob Bolyard -our other mutual cronie. Orlando and I were going to surprise Bob at his weekly stint as Karaoke master at the St John's Club. Syndi had readily and enthusiastically agreed to help us out hosting us for the overnight the next Saturday. We had fun watching Bob (aka Mr. Burlington) host his show. We even met some cute homosexual youth! Syndi joined us later from her annual Theater Company meeting awards dinner. She brought her entourage with her and I was delighted to see quite a few old friends in the group. An amusing exchange took place between my college friend Kelly Kendall and myself. She had no recollection of being my roommate for 3 months and I had no recollection of attending her wedding!  It was fantastic to see Bob in his element and looking so happy. I thought for just a moment, how much I missed Bob and Syndi. I envisioned hanging out with Kelly again, and Mike and everyone else. I thought how nice it would be to move back to Burlington. My life in the Bay Area had hit that snag and well ...did I want to go home again? Could I ever convince Orlando? Given Orlando's feelings of cold weather, it was doubtful.

 

Our Stay in Brookfield Vermont Sept 2011

As I said, We needed some respite from Mom's smoking.  She actually understood that we needed some more vacation time. I booked us a couple of nights at the Green Trails Inn in Brookfield Vermont. Brookfield is basically the Inn and a Church and a very good restaurant. There used to be TWO very good restaurants - now there is one: Ariels Restaurant. Never been? GO ! www.arielsrestaurant.com.  
 The Food was amazing there. The town's biggest claim to fame is The floating bridge-which cars can no longer go over but people may. The Green Trails was also low frills homey and lovely as well. Internet is sketchy and there is no TV but InnKeeper Jane knows her way around the kitchen as evidenced by our delicious breakfasts.  I even didn't mind that I was dining with Republican Texans in the morning -that's how yummy the coffee cake was! Does it justify the hefty price? Maybe. I think the exciting part of the trip was learning that Jane was good friends with one of the ladies that my Dad dated after he divorced my Mom. It was clear that she had an opinion about my old man, but she didn't  hold it against me. Jane liked the Gays. Would I go back? I would. Would Orlando? No...He needs a TV at those prices. I'm okay with a good book and my Ipod. 

I've included a set of pictures of us picking apples at a nearby Orchard -Cool huh? 

Jane the Innkeeper. Heluva Baker!