Memorial Day Blotto

Memorial Day weekend flew by like a hook up on Craig’s List It was nice, necessary and entirely too fast. The big news -or rather not as big as it used to be news-is that I have lost enough weight to fit into 3 pairs of pants that  I didn’t fit in three weeks ago. When I Skyped with Orlando that Thursday night I demonstrated to him by putting  on a pair of Old Navy jeans that weren’t even CLOSE to closing one night when we were hurriedly rushing out for some reason or another. Seems we are continually playing Beat the Clock when he comes to spend the weekend with me in San Francisco and it is anything BUT that when I travel up North to see him. ----I guess Hiking trails don’t require punctuality the way that dinner dates and theater do.

So Yes! The South Beach 2 week intensive has worked and I am allowed to introduce certain whole grain carbohydrates back into my diet and YES!!! Alcohol! I read that it should all be consumed in moderation but something told me that I was going to embrace it back like a long lost lover come Happy Hour that Friday. One of the things Orlando and I like to do is drink. Yes - drinking as a verb. As in Let’s go drinking!! He and I particularly like to go to the Midnight Sun on Fridays for Bear Happy Hour in the Castro. After his 3 hour schlep through Friday rush hour traffic, he likes to unwind with a little Barcardi O and some Cranberry. I myself favor a Cape Cop with Skyy. Vodka aficionados everywhere look down their nose at my choice of vodkas but no way am I going to waste Belvedere by mixing it with Cranberry! Of course -some things were introduced back into my diet and unfortunately, Ocean Spray Cranberry Cocktail was not one of them. I had to drink my Vodka with Club Soda and a generous squeeze of Lemon on out. Sugar is still pretty much the enemy when it comes to your glycemic index. Oh sure - so is alcohol but it’s a matter of calories now too. The less sugar -the better. I stupidly thought Tonic Water was sugar free. WRONG! The reason it tastes so damn good is the SUGAR!!! So...Vodka Club Soda here I come!

 It amazes me that a mere year ago the Midnight Sun Happy Hour was largely populated by broken hearted desperate middle-aged sweater queens (like me) and then BAM! the joint is wall to wall with big lusty furry fellas all around. I personally think that this phenomenon was started by a guy named Bo Hoshaw. Yeah- You got it! The very same Bo Hoshaw that appeared in my Bearlesque show. I think he innocently said one day on his status on face book that he was headed to the Sun for Happy Hour and asked all to join him. Lo and Behold they did and Bear Happy Hour was born. The real draw of the Sun -for those of you not in the know of Castro drinking establishments, is that it offers 2 for 1 cocktails with a GENEROUS pour and videos. The videos are fun but really...for the boozer on a budget it’s a must. Everybody’s Favorite Auntie Drew joined us and I put an invite to another old friend Dene Larson. The place was indeed packed to the paws with gorgeous studly beefy bears. Orlando kind of blended in. We found a surprise opening near the bar and got our 4 drinks. It was my first time ordering the Club Soda Lemony thing and I had to halt the Bartender from making my Cape Cop. Yes....I am a regular. Orlando in a show of support ordered his Bacardi...the same way but with a Lime AND a Lemon Wedge. BTW He too, felt the need for a little personal maintenance  returned to his arduous exercise schedule. I was gripping the benefits of his hard labor with pride. My man has nice guns.

The line outside proved to be too much for Dene as I had suspected it might. Not to out my old friend’s age but we are contemporaries and well....standing in line to get into a bar when you are over 40 is....simply not done. So I texted him to meet us at the venerable Edge. Drew and I often finished an evening of Happy Hour at the Edge. You may recall that The Edge is the place where I had my successful fundraiser for The Mary Mason Memorial Lemonade Fund last January. The Edge inadvertently makes 2 for 1 drinks...in the same glass. The drinks are tall and strong, but the men aren’t always. The Edge serves the clientele who are not ready to make The Twin Peaks, (another drinking place that serves men of a certain age)  their final resting -um...I mean watering hole. It amuses me that the place is really swinging on a weekday afternoon -as in JUST after noon. So I had my new Club soda and Vodka there as well.After chatting with Dene and making a few new friends we left the Edge and felt quite comfy.

Orlando and I have much Friday night TV viewing -particularly the Sci Fi Channel. We raced home thinking that my Tivo would catch a Season Finale or two -only to find it didn’t. We settled on some episodes of Legend of the Seeker that neither of us had seen and A few Chelsea Latelys. We dozed off after a healthy dinner of Chicken Breast stuffed with sun-dried tomatoes and topped with Basil Pesto. -no bread but a big salad. Usually the evening ends with a little slap and tickle...but did I mention we had red wine when we got home...? The Merlot (yes it’s allowed) with the  previous Vodka prevented any slap and tickle but it did induce a small coma. I was sure that I had just screwed up my lovely glycemic index and I would have to start all over again in the morning with the dreaded Phase One of the South Beach Diet Plan. I did awake the next morning after a looong slumber with a dull but incessant throbbing in my brain. I looked at my wallet and wondered where the money I had put in it went. I rushed to the closet and put on my blue camouflage pants -oh Thank God! They still fit!!!