Monday, June 7, 2010

I don't like Mondays

I Don’t Like Mondays

Well that’s not entirely true but it seems that lately I have been constantly fighting a general malaise and Monday seems to make it bloom a bit larger. I’ve been battling the financial blues which is fatiguing to say the least. My boss shows no signs in cheering up and the physical act of lifting her spirits has been hazardous to my mental health as well. The flagging job market is not exactly being kind to my boyfriend and the co-habitation thing seems like an insurmountable achievement. Everyday on TV I see oil drenched Pelicans and I am suffused with guilt that I can’t hop a plane and go scrub some Pelicans with Ivory Liquid.  What with all these.... annoyances, I still manage to have a little fun.

Recently for a little escapist mind play, I have indulged in Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander series.  With apologies to Ms Gabaldon, who I know very little about, I will attempt to give you a synopsis of the adventures of Claire Randall. Years ago I was back on the East coast one muggy summer. (I even found some pictures of that particular week) My sister-in-law had an errand in downtown Amherst Massachusetts to run. I tagged along to escape boredom. I had reached the point with my family that I needed a little air. Given the humidity, I wasn’t going to find it outside. ( It upsets my Mother when I say things like I need time away from the family but hey - you know I love them and I am SURE you have been there.) I wandered around until I had come upon a little bookstore. There was a zaftig blonde who gave off a vibe that she knew very well how to enjoy life,  but you’d have to be the right person to hear how she does it. I suspect I was that kind of person. She greeted me and asked if I was surviving the heat. I told her it wasn’t the heat I was trying to survive-it was my family. She laughed this marvelous musical laughter that was tremendously appealing to me and we bonded on the spot as Fag and Hag. After a fun chat she did get down to business and asked if she could help me find something. I said adventure, love and magic. Her eyes sparkled and she said she had just the thing. I bet she was Wiccan.  She pulled down from the shelves Diana Gabaldon’s book -a thick tome too-called Outlander. The story is about Claire Randall is a WW2 Nurse who is on holiday with her gentle sweet husband. They are vacationing in Scotland and Claire goes to gather some herbs around some stones that resemble Stone Henge. She falls right through the stones into the same area of Scotland -200 years prior, 1742-I think. She meets this sexy Scottish Highlander and well....many books later we are still hearing about this amazing Scottish Highlander with 9 lives. The book is part bodice-ripping romance novel, historical fiction, and a little science fiction. Gabaldon is no holds barred with the sex and the gore ( she evolves into a Doctor through the series-think about it -Doctoring in the 1700s). There are also very intricate descriptions of Claire’s romantic interest-one Jamie Fraser. I don’t even like redheads and I’d fall in love with this guy!

The Outlander series has turned into an incredible source of comfort for me on long trips and Bart commutes. I can see Claire clear as day in my head and Jamie too. The author satisfies my fantasy role play as the plucky modern woman who is resourceful and embroiled in a hot bed of passion. I know I know - Oh PA WHY do you have to identify with the WOMAN!?  You are kidding me right? The smart sassy heroine who gets the hot guy and all the misadventure? It’s tough for you to envision this? Really?  Remember? I LOVE Kinsey Millhone and Stephanie Plum! Hey -it’s MY brain and Ms Gabaldon has no problem with me fantasizing that I am Claire, so I suggest you get over it too. It’s not like I personally KNOW the authoress, but I do know she will want me to keep buying books she writes. You see Ms Gabaldon MUST have a Gay following because she has written quite a few Gay characters into her books!  I am sure she got a lot of flack for the first book from Gay activists because the villain was Gay -and for a fun twist -he was also her husband’s Great Great Great grandfather! Cool huh? Anyway this villain was Brutalnastyevil and he ALSO had the hots for Highlander Jamie. So can you imagine what a British Military high ranking official DID to a desirable comely Red Headed Scottish Highlander Hunk...well you gotta read it. It turned my stomach but I also kept turning those pages!! So as I said, Ms Gabaldon later came up with a gentle, kind, honest and very pretty, high ranking British Military Official who was as GOOD as the other one was BAD. His name was Lord John. Unfortunately Lord John also had a thing for Jamie. Jamie was indeed a hopeless heterosexual and his bond with Claire was unbreakable!  Luckily Lord John has his own series of Mystery novels penned by Ms. Gabaldon and I am saving those for a special time. I Love these books and I am reading them slowly. Savoring a candy that I cannot have any longer. Oh and reading them has helped my vocabulary to some degree. I try to highlight the words that I want to use next so stay tuned for some polysyllabic fun! 

Yesterday Orlando and I went to see the movie Splice about two scientists who do a very bad thing. They make a monster. They brew a genetic experiment that is a digitally remastered weirdi-fied girl monster. Well ...she was kinda pretty actually. We were entertained by it. However if the religious right gets a hold of this movie they will be parading it all around saying, “see? See?” It does not show scientists as sensible moral types. Well one of them is, but he is annoying. Go see it and see what you think. The writing was a bit predictable and you can see Splice 2 and 3 in NEON with the ending. Remember Species with Natasha Henstridge - who is BRILLIANT -I think anyway. Splice has a lot of the same idea. (Species one and two are spectacularly campy and stretch the bounds of absurdity.) My Gal Pal Drew and I think that Species and Warlock make for a fantabulous evening of Kitsch Horror Cinema. In Species you can hear Ben Kingsley and Marg Helgenberger simply exuding “I-can’t-believe-I-am-in-this-fucking-movie” in every line they utter. I think Marg even can’t deliver a line without laughing at one point. Anyway fire up a batch of Nachos and check it out. You may regret it and love it at the same time.

I have included some pictures of Orlando’s and my hike up to COIT tower via the wooden stairs from Filbert St. We worked up a sweat climbing those stairs ! We wondered if the people that lived on the side of the hill ever walked down to Filbert via this method. We doubted it. I would be massively annoyed to have tourists traipsing up and down my back yard all the time. We got to the top of the hill but Orlando was too cheap to shell out the $5 bucks to go to the top of COIT tower....oh well.. at least we burned some calories... Here’s to a fabulous week to you all ! Much Love

1 comment:

  1. I saw Spliced and thought much of the same as you -- loved it and hated it at the same time. I have a think for kinky scientist so it was my kind of movie.

    I sure that the RIGHT opportunity will come along that is clear and evident for Lando to relocate. Seems you two are good at keeping the spirits high and positive during this time of searching for a transition.