South Beach Cub

It was just a matter of maybe 7 or 8 pounds. It wasn’t supposed to be such a big deal,  but the fact of the matter was -I no longer fit into more than a few pairs of my favorite pants. I have a gym membership, but the motivation wasn’t there. The truth hit me like a rubber chicken to the face. In order to fit into my favorite pairs of pants I had to lose some of my cubbish figure. THEN I could wear all those pants that I spent MY good hard earned credit on.

So I reached in the closet and hauled out the South Beach Diet from a dusty book shelf. I had success the first time around and figured I could do it again. I mentioned on Facebook that I was dieting. I figured that would’ve generated a maelstrom of invective from the Bear Community. “    WHAT???” they’d roar, “ YOU ARE A TITLE HOLDER! IT’S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP YOUR WAIST ABOVE 36 INCHES!!!” Yeah Yeah - heard it before- and I am also supposed to be overtly masculine and dine on nothing but hotdogs, beer and pizza. Well -I do pretty well with the pizza eating part, but let’s face it- I am a square Cub jammed into a round Bear Den. I dont wear cargo shorts everyday. I don’t read comics or watch cartoons. I know NOTHING about Gaming. Why start when I haven’t been any of those things in the first place? I am unique. -to say the least. It doesn’t matter any how  because all the Bears that befriended me on Facebook didn’t say a damn thing about my dieting. The theater queens, on the other hand Allll  had words of helpful and not-so-helpful advice. Size DOES matter to these boys, especially since they are naked on stage so often. I needed a kick start and couldn’t just start eating sensibly and exercising and drop a pound a month. I needed results NOW! On the other hand,  I had to ease myself into this healthy living stuff. This was going to be difficult.  What made matters worse was that Orlando and I had clearly begun to “nest” His exercise regime before meeting me was pretty hardcore and after dating me for over a year -not so much. My way of eating was fairly self-monitored but then ....I began to not care. It wasn’t like I had to have washboard abs for crying out loud.It’s not a cub requirement. I had immersed myself with a culture of men that worshipped the belly in all it’s glory. I actually love Orlando for who he is and not his waistline. He and I were comfy dining Fried Chinese Food and Gelato twice a week. Yet something had to give and it turned out to be the seam in my pants.

The South Beach Diet was originally a diet for Heart Patients. Think of it as a healthy version of the famed Atkins Diet. More veggies and fruit and whole grains. It was designed by a cardiologist and a dietician. It is endorsed by the American Heart Association. I tell you all this to let you know it’s not a crazy eating plan. Granted...it requires ALOT of attention and the first two weeks do challenge you. The meal  plan is broken up into four phases and I am now in the phase two of the plan. Phase one was a lot of NOs. As in no alcohol, no caffeine and no carbs. It’s about changing your glycemic index. What is the Glycemic Index you ask? Well Not all carbohydrate foods are created equal, in fact they behave quite differently in our bodies. The glycemic index or GI amongst the savvy- describes this difference by ranking carbohydrates according to their effect on our blood glucose levels. Choosing low GI carbs - the ones that produce only small fluctuations in our blood glucose and insulin levels - is the secret to long-term health reducing your risk of heart disease and diabetes and is the key to sustainable weight loss. Hey it has already shown a remarkable difference in my waist line and luckily each phase introduces more delicious food options. I love to cook so I am enjoying following this plan.

It’s the planning of the plan that is so goddammed daunting! I pack up my lunch box with my lunch and my two in between snacks every night. It takes time people. So if you don’t enjoy preparing food and you aren’t a fan of vegetables I do not recommend this meal plan for you. As I skip ahead looking at the recipes in the final phase I am gladdened to see that it is not so drastically different to what my idea of healthy eating is. It just takes a little more time. Orlando has been great about this. He’s not a fan of veggies but he will eat just about anything I am eating. I find he hurriedly goes through the salad and savors the sirloin a little longer but he is game for playing along with me. He also has stepped up his exercise schedule which also delights me because he has a nice set of guns I like to squeeze from time to time. I am trying to avoid the scale and also trying to get back into the swing of some hardcore exercise three times a week. A man in his 40s should sweat for 20 minutes a day I heard...I don’t suppose that includes hanging out in a sauna huh?