Monday, September 21, 2009

A Cub gets his leather on

So I recently got fitted for my new chaps at Off Ramp Leathers by Leather artist Paul Johnson. I didn't need to buy Chaps -I just WANTED them. I originally went there to get measured for my title vest which John Caldera had plunked down a deposit for.  Mr. Caldera submits the design and Paul makes it happen! When I had shopped for a new leather outfit for various functions, I was daunted by the price that some of our local leather vendors have. As a title holder it needs to fit like a second skin. There's also the issue of Jeans or without Jeans. I wore Jeans thinking I was going to wear them in places where I didn't want my lily white bootie hanging out. My butt is okay but to be frank, I'd like to put it through some serious squats and bun developers before I start showing it to the world. My boyfriend says it's delightful and he enjoys it immensely. However -until I can decipher whether those are dimples back there or cellulite -I will rely on photoshop to adjust it for general viewing. I wish I had "back" but there is no denying that I am a little white guy. My ass is small and compact and it's difficult to find a pair of jeans that make my buns look tantalizing.

Mr. Johnson was a gentleman. (Oh well)  He was thorough and nailed the correct amount of tightness. A comfortable firmness that wasn't restrictive. This was fitting number 2. There is one final one where he completes the length. It's all done there in the store with his sale's associate Dave entertaining the troupes. By that I mean my best gal pal and impromptu photographer, Auntie Drew! He managed to have Drew look like one of the Village People at one point. It was very fetching!  Dave was also very persuasive and managed to convince me to try on a pair of jeans/w leather on them that reminded me of my high school days. I used to lay down on my bed and squeeeeeeeze my 13 year old body into these Jordache Jeans that were like GOLD to me. Those with a pair of my Frye Boots made me the sexiest little tween you ever did see...from the waist down. From the neck up there was a chronic acne condition that was the BANE of my existence. Luckily there was this magical drug called Accutane that put that to rest. I used it dutifully until it had changed my physiology so dramatically that my nasal membranes gave way on a casual sneeze and gave me a bloody nose that horrified me and my friends. I stopped taking it immediately. Now the same drug is linked to seizures!!!

We shall see what design Mr. Caldera has devised for my vest-Stay tuned. I next will be shopping for jock straps and G- strings. Anyone know where I can score a football uniform? I'd be very grateful!

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