Monday, April 30, 2012


I once was a loan coordinator for a top producing loan agent at a successful Mortgage brokerage. I look at that sentence on my resume and it makes me smirk because it seems surreal, but the thing is -it's true. I was so good at my job that I won an award for it. It's not much to look at. It looks as if some company needed to dump a bunch of pewter ashtrays, so they sold them to a trophy company and they put them on a stand on their side facing out and etched in "Loan Coordinator Top Sales for 2005, or 2006. (I don't really remember the year). I believe I was the first Loan Coordinator of that company to ever GET an award. For a year or so I was a simple receptionist who had a terrible crush on one of the CEOs of the Brokerage. He was a terribly sexy muscle bear who could fulfill every Daddy fantasy I ever had. Unfortunately he didn't turn out to be the  Bear Don Draper of my dreams. He did hire me though after we played footsy under the table during my job interview His Lesbian partner, a humorless, shrewd angry looking business woman, saw right through me on day one. (She sensed my gold digging desperation I guess.) She said I was too smart to be a receptionist and I would leave the job after a year.  After her partner hired me,  she arrived at work to see my chubby little frame beaming at her from the the front desk. She glared at me flinteyed and said "So Dick went over my head and hired you I see?" She flung the words at my face like they were acid and stomped off to give Dick hell. As she predicted, a year later I was hired by one of the top selling mortgage brokers "Stan Moretti " after an exhausting interview process by Stan and his loan processor, "Christine". 

 I liked that job. I liked my co-workers. I found that Mortgage Brokers weren't so different from actors and actresses. They were prone to histrionics and most of them had a Diva complex of some sort or another. The industry seemed well suited to my personality.  However, this type of behaviour was frowned upon on  by Team Moretti. Christine was a cool, vaguely stand offish Asian woman who revealed very little of her mischevious playful persona to me during the first year. The closer she got to people the more she opened up to them, and was likely to let her hair down and have a little fun. Once she befriended you she was fiercely loyal to you. She and Stan used to walk by my desk when I was a receptionist and often they didn't say hello. Christine wore designer knits and he was always decked out in some perfectly tailored suit.The two of them looked like a lovely San Francisco couple and it was rumored that they did more than just have lunch. You can imagine my dissappointment when I found out -really-all they did was go to lunch AND talk about loans. When they hired me, I would join them on Fridays and listen to them talk about loans. Stan paid for lunch at least. Stan would go back and forth on a type of loan until Christine assured him that she could make it work. I was basically their "yes" man. When I left the receptionist desk I took delight in the fact that our team was kind of elite. I nearly went bankrupt at Macy's trying to look the part.

Christine taught me MANY important things about how to handle people to get them to give you what you need. I used to say "Christine, why were you so nice to her? I thought you didn't like her." She'd turn and look at me -irritated that I had to ask a question like that and slow her progress on the loan-and sigh with resignation. She said slowly as if I was vaguely retarded, " We have to be nice to people in order for them to do what we want...right? "

Stan was my first male heterosexual boss I had in a long time. I was used to having female bosses. He was labeled a metrosexual because of his good taste and excellent grooming. Both of them were unstoppable in the loan biz. I always felt I added a much needed sense of humor as well as warmth to their robotic fervor of getting loans funded.( to be continued)

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