|I pledge to do a sit up once in a while|
New Year’s resolutions completely overwhelm me. I feel compelled to make them, yet I resent having to make them at all since I go to great lengths to be in a constant state of reinvention ANYWAY. Sometimes when I reinvent myself I do repeats. I return to being P.A. Cooley –Actor and don’t spend nearly enough time being PA the Writer. My Lando Bear is good at reminding me when to be creative. ( He pointed out that I hadn’t completed the SHowmance series.) I love writing, but I am reluctant to have anyone tell me how to do it. –oh hell I am about to be 47 and I am reluctant to have ANYONE tell me how to do ANYTHING. I grudgingly admit I need guidance in the craft of writing. I know my sentence construction is like something out of “Nightmare on Elm Street.” Anyway- here’s what I came up with so far.
Resolution # 1- I WILL write more! Lucky you! You get to read stories about my eating habits and my wonderful family and friends, (who I promise to discuss in a tactful and discreet manner), and of course my penis!
Resolution # 2- I will embrace change in all its forms. Now this is not all that different from my normal way of cruising through life. Change is GOOD. I always had a bit of a problem with scary and sad changes. Who doesn’t? My most recent dark hour, it was revealed to me who my true friends were-as well as what great support my family can be. So worst time in life =best lesson learned. Living is change. “Go with the flow” as my dear mother says.
Resolution #3 –I will learn more about others. I am fascinated by people and how they come to certain decisions. I want to know why that woman thought it was a good idea to wear that extremely unflattering outfit. I want to know why nice seemingly intelligent people fall in love with mean incredibly stupid people. When I have learned that their decision process is not helping the world to be a better place, you can help me figure out what to do with them.
Resolution # 4-I will look more visually appealing…but maybe I’m there already…hmmm (looks up at the ceiling for a moment and looks back down at his Vodka Gibson and sips it thoughtfully.) I’ll have to give this resolution some more thought.Resolution # 5-I will start a website. What exactly will the website have on it? Well probably lots of provocative photos of me. Hush up don’t tell Momma. I will promote events that friends are doing. My writing will be there and cool things I find that I think you will get a kick out of --especially if it’s related to food or weird fashion choices.