A Cub is overwhelmed

I wonder if it all will get done. I worry -I am a world class hand wringer. It's times like these that I see the appeal of being a Hobo - hopping a box car and heating up a can of beans for dinner over an open fire. Then I realize that my creature comforts mean too much to me.

One evening -about a month or so ago, I met Ray Middling, a Leather Daddy title holder,  at The Lone Star for a little confab session. I wanted to know if he wanted to help me with a photo shoot and guide me a little with my reign as Bay Area Cub 2010. His clearest advice-which I am having a devil of a time adhering to-was that I should "attend the opening of an envelope". That essentially means I should be at almost every event there is Leather, Court and most importantly Bear. He knew of nearly every leather event and invited me to a few which I could not attend because of boyfriend obligations. As the 11 readers who follow me can tell you, Orlando and I have been dating 8 months -over actually. This is a record for me, and I truly do NOT want to fuck this one up. I don't even WANT the term "sash widow" to be uttered by anyone's lips. (Reminder to the uninitiated: A Sash widow is partner who spends alot of time alone because his title holder partner is off to this or that event being a celeBEARtante. We have them in the theater world too. They are called Show widows)

Maybe you know full well the demands of a relationship, but this little cub is navigating in new waters. Boyfriends need attention! Don't even begin to think I don't enjoy giving my honey bear attention, but it is a new aspect to my life that I have very little experience with. He smiles a lot more when I touch him, and I need to remember that.  It used to be simpler when I was single. An average day would be: Wake, Work, Eat, Rehearse/Perform, Sleep -Repeat.

My day job is fairly demanding . I need to keep a cool head being diplomatic with oversensitive healthcare workers and family members and multitask my brains out. I work with the elderly. Some of the elderly I work with have been diagnosed with dementia. Trying to recreate 1932 in my little office, or having a serious discussion about handguns and hamburgers covered in cheese can take a lot of concentration. In the middle of that I have to get a newsletter out and laminate 32 name tags by 3pm. I need to know Quark, Word, Power Point and Excel -and to be honest I only know a smattering of each.  Did I mention I need to change the face of Eldercare in our society? I have to teach all of America to be more compassionate and attentive to our Older people. So do you by the way.

Speaking of older people, I have a friend. I used to have scads of friends but it's dwindled to just one feeble best friend who constantly requires my firm instruction and gallons of alcohol just to get him to think a clear cohesive thought about all the suggestions I have for him and how he can improve his life. This takes TIME people!!

How can I possibly save the fate of non-profit theater in the midst of all these demands? Because -let's be clear about this. I did not run for Bay Area Cub for the attention.. and the cute vest.. and the attention the cute vest gets me. I became a title holder to save the world I owe so dearly. (Grabs-his navy-hanky-that-he's-wearing -in -his- left- pocket- tonight- and -dabs- a- tear- at- his- eye) A world that can transport you to an imaginary place when the curtain parts. A place where every voyeuristic shiver is FULFILLED. I am talking about THE WORLD OF THEATER! .....and let me tell you -I'M EXHAUSTED.  I was thinking all these cubs and bears would jump in my bandwagon and say, "Sure PA -We'd love to help you." Unfortunately - that hasn't happened. I have some pretty darned impressive people from the theater world on board with my vision, but I need sexy bears and cubs to REALIZE that vision. So send me an e-mail guys. If you like to sing and wear next to nothing while you do it then be SURE to ask me for a contestant form for the contest at The Power House here in San Francisco happening November 12. It's a word document that you can fill in the answers and save it and email it right back to me. Easy Peasey E-mail me at bayareacub2010@att.net for the Entry form.
Mean time
My wish list
A Karaoke machine and a guy who knows how to run it
10 to 6 sexy bears and or cubs who sing and may be nudists
A  generous grant to cover the costs of a Burlesque show
Help...please and yes ...if you want ...I'll put that navy hanky on the right side just for you...